Month: August 2019

Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo (1977)

TARANTULAS: THE DEADLY CARGO (1977)
TV-Movie
Article 3682 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-29-2011
Posting Date: 9-13-2011
Directed by Stuart Hagmann
Featuring Claude Akins, Charles Frank, Deborah Winters
Country: USA
What it is: Creepy crawly TV-Movie horror

An airplane hauling coffee in from Ecuador crashes in a small community whose main source of income is from oranges. However, the coffee beans were infested with deadly spiders who now threaten the lives and industry of the town.

I thought I saw this movie many years ago, because my main memory of it was that it was so hackneyed that I wrote a short-story parody of it called ATTACK OF THE KILLER SLUGS. Watching it again, I wonder if I confused it with another movie; though I do remember certain scenes well enough, the scenes that provided fodder for the parody are not present, so I’m pretty sure my memory is faulty, which makes me glad that I go back and rewatch some of these movies. My main reaction to it this time is that it actually does a few interesting things with the idea; though it initially seems to be imitating JAWS, it ultimately takes a different direction; the mayor’s small-mindedness about the threat from the spiders eventually gives way to the realization that an over-hasty solution to the problem may destroy the town’s economy, and that every effort will be made to take care of the threat without destroying the whole town. The human villain ends up being a co-owner of the warehouse who is hoping to profit from the insurance, and he ends up doing some really stupid things before the movie is over. In fact, a lot of people act stupidly in the movie, which is one of its problems. Other problems include some really odd use of crowds at times, and there are a number of subplots that are left underdeveloped and plot points that lead nowhere. Yet it seems for every bad point, there’s a good point somewhere else, so I’ll just say the movie is very uneven and let it go at that.

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Snuff (1976)

SNUFF (1976)
Article 3681 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-28-2011
Posting Date: 9-12-2011
Directed by Michael Findlay
Featuring Margarita Amuchastegui, Ana Carro, Liliana Fernandez Blanco
Country: Argentina / USA / Canada
What it is: Manson inspired gore film

Female bikers follow a charismatic leader who plans to have them break into an estate and slaughter everyone there.

Though it’s not strictly kosher to judge a movie by its ad campaign and publicity, there are times where it’s very tempting, and this is a definite example. Director Michael Findlay had made a Manson-inspired film called THE SLAUGHTER which was so bad that it sat on the shelf for five years before he pulled it out, edited in a four minute sequence at the end in which the camera shows the crew shooting the movie engaged in the torture, murder and disembowelment of another crew member; the publicity then claimed that the sequence was film of a real murder. This was certainly the most cynical and crass movie marketing campaign in history. As for the movie itself, it’s easy to see why THE SLAUGHTER sat on the shelf; it’s aimless, pointless, dull and irritating, and it never gets more stupid than when it tries to be meaningful. When you get right down to it, the footage from the earlier movie only serves as seventy-five minutes of filler to lead in to the last scene, which was shot only for the marketing to have something to play with. In the face of this, criticism seems beside the point. My main reaction ultimately is that I’m glad I did not go the movie theater and sit with an audience of people hoping they were going to see a real-life murder; I think this would have creeped me out more than anything in the movie itself.

I’m glad this one is out of the way.

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Dick Barton Strikes Back (1949)

DICK BARTON STRIKES BACK (1949)
Article 3680 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-27-2011
Posting Date: 9-11-2011
Directed by Godfrey Grayson
Featuring Don Stannard, Sebastian Cabot, Jean Lodge
Country: UK
What it is: Science fiction espionage

When all life in some small villages is wiped out by an unknown power, Dick Barton is sent out to investigate. He believes it is some fearful new weapon developed by a foreign power.

Immediately after watching this movie, I went back and read my review of the first movie in the Dick Barton series, DICK BARTON , SPECIAL AGENT. I remember thinking that movie was quite awful, but I also remember being told that the sequels were much better. Having now seen one of them, I can attest to the fact that at least this one was a massive improvement. Most of the flaws that plagued the first movie are gone; in fact, the main problems I had with this movie was the occasionally clumsy use of background music, and the fact that some of the characters (both heroes and villains) act with amazing stupidity at times. Nevertheless, the movie has an interesting weapon, and its use at several times during the movie moves it into science fiction territory. It also builds up a fairly decent amount of suspense. It was also fun to see Sebastian Cabot sans beard in a villainous role here. Being an early Hammer film, it also has a certain similar feel to the Quatermass movies, though I wouldn’t put this one on their level; nevertheless, this is a solid and entertaining entry in the series. I also find myself wondering what the third movie in the series will be like.

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Please Don’t Eat My Mother (1973)

PLEASE DON’T EAT MY MOTHER (1973)
Article 3679 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-26-2011
Posting Date: 9-10-2011
Directed by Carl Monson
Featuring Buck Kartalian, Lynn Lundgren, Art Hedburg
Country: USA
What it is: Comedy horror sexploitation

A middle-aged voyeur who lives with his mother buys a talking plant with a sexy voice that has an ever-increasing appetite, finally settling on human beings as its choice food.

Between the original Corman version of THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and the big-budget musical remake of the eighties, we have this uncredited remake that adds a bunch of sex and nudity into the mix. It manages to add the sex by simply making the Seymour character (here named Henry Fudd) a voyeur, so every once in a while he goes into a wooded area and watches couples having sex. Once again, I’m not going to comment on the sex scenes except to point out that besides their obvious primary purpose in the movie, they do serve at least one useful secondary purpose; they distract us from the comedy and plot, which are, in a word, abysmal. The original version is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen; this one, despite occasionally hovering near some potentially humorous ideas, doesn’t net a single laugh. Then there’s the crappy special effects; the plant looks like nothing more than a tacky puppet, and though it’s tempting to blame this on the movie’s no-doubt extreme low budget, I suspect that the budget wasn’t significantly lower than Corman’s original, and the plant passed muster there. But then, the comedy and horror were the primary elements in the Corman original; here, they’re supposed to play second fiddle to the sex scenes. This movie is truly horrid. Still, a couple of side notes. Since I do some acting on the side, I hope that I never fall so low as to play a voyeur in a movie like this, as the acting in such a role requires little more than being able to stare straight ahead and grin like a maniac. Secondly, there are some movie titles that I just feel embarrassed to mention or write out, and the tacky, tasteless title of this one is one of them.

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Les creatures (1966)

LES CREATURES (1966)
aka The Creatures

Article 3678 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-25-2011
Posting Date: 9-9-2011
Directed by Agnes Varda
Featuring Catherine Deneuve, Michel Piccoli, Eva Dahlbeck
Country: Sweden / France
What it is: Fantastically themed art movie

After an accident, a writer and his wife (who has lost the power of speech) move into a castle, and have odd encounters with the local residents. The writer begins to suspect someone is practicing mind control on the residents…. or is he just writing a book about it?

The first thirty minutes of this strange little movie are impenetrable; events happen, but their significance within the scheme of things is nearly impossible to discern. It’s only when the writer reveals the nature of the book he is writing (in a conversation with a horse) that the movie gives out a clue on what to watch for, as well as providing the key to the fantastic content in the movie. I’m not sure whether the events portrayed are real or just part of the novel he’s writing, but I actually found it didn’t matter; the second half of the movie, in which the writer encounters the man behind the mind control and becomes engaged in a game with him in which the lives of the various people in the community are at risk, is fascinating to watch, and I like the movie’s symbolic use of the checkerboard pattern and the technique of darkening the screen to symbolize that the characters are under mind control . I’m not saying that I’ve scoped out the movie completely; there are still some questions I have about the action (such as whether or not a rabbit really talks back to the writer at one point, and what the significance of the final scene is), but considering the impenetrability of the first part of the movie, I was really glad it settled down into a more coherent and enjoyable groove. This one is recommended, but one should be aware that it’s an art film before taking it on.

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The Conquest of Mycenae (1963)

THE CONQUEST OF MYCENAE (1963)
aka Ercole contro Molock

Article 3677 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-24-2011
Posting Date: 9-8-2011
Directed by Giorgio Ferroni
Featuring Gordon Scott, Alessandro Panaro, Rosalba Neri
Country: Italy / France
What it is: Sword and Sandal

The evil city of Mycenae terrorizes its neighbors and demands hostages for sacrifice to the human incarnation of their god Moloch. Can Glaucus, the prince of a neighboring city, find a way to infiltrate Mycenae and spark a revolution?

The movie actually begins with a scene that seems intended to generate a bit of sympathy for the Mycenaens and their plight, but after that, they’re the typical evil kingdom for these types of movies. And don’t let the alternate title (which implies that Hercules is in the movie) fool you; the hero is Glaucus, and he just calls himself Hercules when he willingly agrees to be a hostage in order to get access to the city. He’s strong enough, but not Hercules-style strong. Still, the movie has other fantastic content to it; there’s at least one moment where divine intervention steps in, and though the human/god Moloch is just supposed to be a mutilated human being, it looks like he has a few mystical powers as well. Other than that, it’s the usual sort of thing for a sword and sandal movie, with the order a bit scrambled (the hero’s dalliance with the evil queen is gotten out of the way earlier than usual), and some scenes appear to be missing (if the evil queen ever got her comeuppance, I missed it). Some of the special effects are quite bad; there’s a truly awful shot of a burning city at one point. All in all, it’s just another sword-and-sandal movie.

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Ganja & Hess (1973)

GANJA & HESS (1973)
aka Blood Couple

Article 3676 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-23-2011
Posting Date: 9-7-2011
Directed by Bill Gunn
Featuring Marlene Clark, Duane Jones, Bill Gunn
Country: USA
What it is: Art movie masquerading as blaxploitation horror

An archaeologist becomes a vampire after having been stabbed with a ceremonial knife. He tries to cope with his affliction and finds himself involved with the wife of his now-dead assailant.

It features the lead actor from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and is a movie about a black vampire made in the same era as BLACULA. But anyone walking into this one expecting the usual blaxploitation horror vibe will be severely disappointed. Granted, I can’t speak about the 78-minute edit, which reportedly comes across as almost a completely different movie; I opted to watch the complete 110 minute version. There is much to admire here; the acting is strong, the use of sound and music is truly creative, and it adds some interesting wrinkles to vampire mythology (incidentally, the word “vampire” is never used once during the movie). Yet, it remains an art film, and a fairly long one; there is a lot of talk, and not all of it is interesting enough to hold the attention. There are scenes that are confusing, and other scenes that go on too long; despite the positive qualities of this movie, I often found myself quite bored. It is also a movie steeped in black culture, and as such, I may simply not be one of its intended audience. Some people consider it a masterpiece; others think it’s awful. Me, I find it unique, but not quite satisfying overall, though it may be one of those movies that requires more than a single viewing.

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Bunny Lake is Missing (1965)

BUNNY LAKE IS MISSING (1965)
Article 3675 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-22-2011
Posting Date: 9-6-2011
Directed by Otto Preminger
Featuring Laurence Olivier, Carol Lynley, Keir Dullea
Country: UK
What it is: Mystery thriller

In England, an inspector is called in to investigate the disappearance of the daughter of a single American mother who has just moved to the country. However, when he can find no evidence for the existence of the child at all, he begins to suspect that the woman may be delusional…

Otto Preminger was an interesting if uneven director with his own set of obsessions, and at one point in this movie, I found myself pondering a certain comparison between his work and Jesus Franco’s and then was startled when the movie suddenly dropped the name of the Marquis de Sade. As a mystery, this one is really not that tricky; you’re basically given two options (the child exists or the child does not exist), and if you go with the correct option, you’ll probably sort it all out before the movie spells it out for you. The movie may seem somewhat borderline in its fantastic content; the option that the woman is delusional certainly points to the theme of madness. All I’m going to say is that madness definitely plays a big role in the proceedings before the movie winds up. If the mystery isn’t difficult, it does manage to give us some good thrills before it’s all through; in fact, this appears to be one of the better movies from Preminger’s waning period from the mid-sixties onward. The movie also features a memorable performance from Noel Coward. All in all, this one is quite satisfying.

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The Case of the Smiling Stiffs (1973)

THE CASE OF THE SMILING STIFFS (1973)
aka Case of the Full Moon Murders

Article 3674 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-21-2011
Posting Date: 9-5-2011
Directed by Sean S. Cunningham and Brud Talbot
Featuring Sheila Stuart, Jed Ziegler, Cathy Walker
Country: USA
What it is: After hours horror

A vampire is loose in Miami whose method of attack leaves a number of happy corpses around. Dragnet-style cops investigate.

The producer of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and FRIDAY THE 13TH shows that he was as interested in live bodies as he was in dead ones with this movie; yes, the title does indeed have a double meaning. Apparently, this movie was made in both hardcore and softcore versions, with only the latter version surviving. Now I find these movies rather difficult to review; since they’re something in the way of a “specialty” genre, they really need to be judged on the degree they provide that “specialty”, and other factors (such as acting, plot, etc.) are of minimal importance. However, I have no interest in reviewing movies on those terms, so let’s just say that I’ve watched this on to get it off my hunt list. I will make one comment, though; the “Dragnet” style narration really gets tiresome before this one is through.

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The Incredible Paris Incident (1967)

THE INCREDIBLE PARIS INCIDENT (1967)
aka Come rubare la corona d’Inghilterra, Argoman Superdiobolica

Article 3673 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-20-2011
Posting Date: 9-4-2011
Directed by Sergio Grieco
Featuring Roger Browne, Dominique Boschero, Eduardo Fajardo
Country: Italy
What it is: Superspy/supervillain/superhero mishmash

When the crown of England is stolen, the authorities call on a freelance agent to help them solve the theft, unaware that the agent is also the superhero/supervillain Argoman.

Well, here’s something you don’t see everyday; a superhero movie that plays like a supervillain/superspy movie. Our hero actually does have superpowers; he may have superstrength, but he definitely has telekinesis and lightning fast reflexes. He’s not only a hero (he sets out to defeat an evil woman who is intent on taking over the world), but he’s a villain as well; he has the real copy of the Mona Lisa among other trophies of his various exploits. The big difference between the evil woman and Argoman is that he does not take human lives. The movie is on the campy side (it’s full of silly dialogue), but it manages to stay on the side of “fun” campy rather than “cloying” campy. In fact, the whole movie is a light-hearted lark, and Argoman’s costume is not too bad. I really didn’t know what to expect from this movie, but I ended up enjoying it thoroughly, and that says something.

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