Month: February 2018

Dressed to Kill (1980)

DRESSED TO KILL (1980)
Article 2456 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-23-2007
Posting Date: 5-3-2008
Directed by Brian De Palma
Featuring Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson, Nancy Allen
Country: USA

A housewife gets picked up by another man, and is then murdered in the elevator while leaving his apartment building. The housewife’s son and the hooker who witnessed the killing combine forces to find the killer.

In a sense, it’s really unfair to compare De Palma’s movies to Hitchcock’s, but De Palma seems to demand it. So let me say this; I’ve seen PSYCHO several times, and I thoroughly enjoy it each time, whereas this is the second time I’ve seen DRESSED TO KILL, and I care for it less than I did the first time. But then, I’ve never warmed up to De Palma; when Hitchcock gets stylistic, he does so with a natural sense that doesn’t detract from the movie as a whole, whereas De Palma’s forays into style often leave me with the sense of someone showing off. Which is not to say that it doesn’t often work; the sequence that begins in the art museum and ends in the elevator works brilliantly, and I admire how not a word is uttered during long chunks of this. But the stylistic trappings of the rest of the movie leave me cold. The split-screen sequence here is nowhere near as effective as the one in SISTERS, and when he goes into stylistic overdrive during the last ten minutes of the movie (after the story is ostensibly over), you know what he’s up to (especially if you’ve seen CARRIE), and you know it’s going on far too long. Borrowings from PSYCHO include a lead actress vanishing early in the story and the presence of two (count ’em, two) shower sequences, two initially minor characters teaming up for an investigation in the second half of the movie, and a lengthy explanation of the murderer’s particular form of madness. Still, he does have a shrewd ear for music; Pino Donaggio’s score adds a lot to the proceedings.

 

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The Dark Secret of Harvest Home (1978)

THE DARK SECRET OF HARVEST HOME (1978)
TV miniseries
Article 2455 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-22-2007
Posting Date: 5-2-2008
Directed by Leo Penn
Featuring Bette Davis, David Ackroyd, Rosanna Arquette

Upon inheriting a lot of money, a couple moves to a remote New England village with a quaint, unusual atmosphere that makes it feel as if it comes from another time. They begin to discover that the seemingly quaint rituals they perform have a secret, dark side to them that climax in a celebration known as Harvest Home.

According to IMDB, this miniseries clocked in at a good five hours. I only saw a two-hour condensation of it, and it does seem as if certain things are missing, but not so much that it became confusing; I’ve never seen the full version, but I had no problem following this. In fact, I’d say it was one of the best TV Horror movies ever. It’s something like THE WICKER MAN filtered through THE STEPFORD WIVES and CROWHAVEN FARM; in particular, it would make a great companion to the first of those movies. What really makes this movie work is how the presence of one grave in an unhallowed part of the cemetery leads us into an investigation on the mysterious suicide of a former Harvest Maiden; the mystery has some truly amazing twists and turns, especially when we discover why we get two vastly different descriptions of the woman. This movie fascinated me enough that I hope to seek out the complete version one of these days, though I do wonder if it can really sustain a five hour length. Great work from Bette Davis as the town’s matriarch, and I also really like Rene Auberjonois as a nosy peddler, and Norman Lloyd as a town resident who helps somewhat with the investigation. Donald Pleasence’s voice is heard narrating novels during the movie.

 

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The Extraordinary Seaman (1969)

THE EXTRAORDINARY SEAMAN (1969)
Article 2454 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-21-2007
Posting Date: 5-1-2008
Directed by John Frankenheimer
Featuring David Niven, Faye Dunaway, Alan Alda

During World War II, four sailors left adrift in a lifeboat find themselves taken aboard a beached boat captained by a strange British officer. They help him to relaunch the boat ostensibly to take them to Australia, but they find that the officer is a ghost with plans of his own.

John Frankenheimer is the man responsible for such fine movies as THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, SEVEN DAYS IN MAY and SECONDS. He also gave us this, one of the lousiest, most lifeless fantasy/comedies ever made. This movie is so devoid of laughs and energy that I find myself really curious about the history of the movie; it feels as if the movie was directed on autopilot, and of the actors, only Alan Alda seems to be putting forth any effort. But then, only him and David Niven have characters of any interest; Faye Dunaway gets to be a tough girl with a gun in the opening scenes and then becomes a nonentity, Jack Carter is given little more to do than to like motorbikes, and Mickey Rooney’s character consists of a single running joke; he thinks everyone is Japanese. Attempts to liven the humor with a lot of stock footage and (purportedly) funny commentary does little more than give the movie a sense of half-assed desperation. The best thing about the movie is the running time, as it clocks in at eighty minutes; someone knew that this waste of time didn’t merit being any longer.

 

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The Curse of the Crying Woman (1963)

THE CURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN (1963)
aka La Maldicion de la Llorona
Article 2453 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date; 12-20-2007
Posting Date: 4-30-2008
Directed by Rafael Baledon
Featuring Rosa Arenas, Abel Salazar, Rita Macedo
Country: Mexico

A woman returns to the home of her aunt only to learn the horrible family secrets; they are all descendants of a witch known as the Crying Woman, and they are cursed to an immortal life of murder and blood. She finds herself falling under the sway of the curse.

If I had to pick, I would say that my favorite Mexican horrors (both straight and campy) are produced by actor Abel Salazar, and this is one of his best. This one is more in the mode of THE VAMPIRE rather than THE BRAINIAC, and it’s exciting, eerie, intense, and full of wonderful horror atmosphere. Like many Mexican horror movies, so many elements get thrown at you that you never really know which way the story is going to go, but this one holds together very well, and it features haunted mirrors, the decaying corpse of a witch, a madman locked in the attic, a sinister woman with coal-black eyes, a pack of murderous dobermanns, and a deformed killer with a clubfoot. The ending, an extended sequence in a crumbling house, is quite amazing. The movie is also packed with surreal sequences that are quite jaw-dropping at times. For anyone who wants to catch Mexican horror at its best, this one comes highly recommended.

 

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The Big Game (1972)

THE BIG GAME (1972)
Article 2452 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-19-2007
Posting Date: 4-29-2008
Directed by Robert Day
Featuring Stephen Boyd, France Nuyen, Ray Milland
Country: USA/South Africa

The son of an inventor is blackmailed by a spy organization so they can get their hands on one of his father’s inventions – a machine that can control men’s minds from a distance.

“The Motion Picture Guide” was a multi-volume movie guide that came out in the mid-eighties; it was much anticipated, but proved a real disappointment when it first came out. I myself picked it up, and though it does have its uses, it certainly wasn’t worth the exorbitant amount I paid for it. For those who want an example of a its sloppiness, be aware that when describing this movie, it refers to it as a drama about big game hunting. Obviously, they never saw the movie; there is no big game hunting in the movie at all. I suspect they came up with the plot description after looking at the title of the movie, and little else. They do give it a fairly low rating, though, and that’s accurate enough; at best, this thriller is pedestrian and ordinary, but mostly it’s just dull. The science fiction concept behind it is its most interesting aspect; the concept of a machine that can take over the minds of armies and make them do their bidding is a truly frightening idea, and it’s sad that the best they can do with the idea is to make it the Gizmo Maguffin in a low-budget spy thriller. The closest I’ve seen to this idea being used before was REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES , and that one was no better, though they used the idea more. The star power doesn’t help; of the name actors here, only Cameron Mitchell really does a memorable job, but he’s been the best thing in many movies far worse than this, so he knows his way around bad movies. The movie attempts to have a profound ending (which is where the title is finally explained), and it might have worked had the rest of the movie been up to scratch. As it is, this one is forgettable.

 

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Ultraman (1967)

ULTRAMAN (1967)
aka Chohen kaiju eiga: Urutoraman
Article 2451 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-18-2007
Posting Date: 4-28-2008
Directed by Hajime Tsuburaya
Featuring Akiji Kobayashi, Susumu Kurobe, Susumu Fujita
Country: Japan
A member of the Science Patrol gains the ability to turn into a galactic superhero when monsters threaten the earth.

All right, I don’t know if I’ve really seen this movie or not, and I haven’t been able to find enough information to help sort it out. I’ve heard the movie consists of episodes of the TV series edited together into a feature, and my source for this claims this is it, but it looks for all the world like a compilation of various episodes of the series, right down to the opening credits for each episode (though no ending credits, but that’s no surprise – my copy of the series itself didn’t have any). So, should I be covering this or not? I don’t know, but I’ll tell you this much; if it isn’t, than I’m willing to bet that this is probably pretty close to what the movie was like. So we get Ultraman fighting four monsters; one from a lake, the next a space alien that can make duplicates of himself and turn into a giant, then an electricity-eating monster with the ability to turn invisible, and finally, a sea monster with a nuclear bomb attached to him. The direct attempts at comedy are abysmal, though that may be just the dubbing, and the latter is inconsistent; some scenes are in their original Japanese, as are the credits. It’s the inadvertent comedy that’s the knee-slapper here, particularly during the last segment when they try to calm the excitable sea monster with music, but the rinky-dink piano music they play for him just makes him angrier, with the punch line being the explanation tendered for why the monster didn’t like the music. Basically, the show was a cross between a superhero series and a kaiju, with every episode telling practically the same story with minor variations. Still, if you have a soft spot for this kind of thing, you could do worse.

P.S. It has since come to my attention that this is not the movie in question, but indeed just a collection of several of the expisodes. In the words of Emily Latella, Never Mind.

 

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Satanas de todos los horrores (1974)

SATANAS DE TODOS LOS HORRORES (1974)
aka Satan of All Horrors
Article 2450 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-17-2007
Posting Date: 4-27-2008
Directed by Julian Soler
Featuring Enrique Lizalde, Enrique Rocha, Carlos Lopez Moctezuma
Country: Mexico

A man visits the home of his beloved, and finds her under the sway of his strange brother in a crumbling mansion.

I was caught off guard by this movie, as I didn’t know my print was going to be in unsubtitled Spanish, but, heck, it’s not like I haven’t been here before. Still, I had some help; the titles indicated that it was based on something by Edgar Allan Poe, and it didn’t take much thinking to figure out that the source was “The Fall of the House of Usher”. Granted, that particular story tends to lend itself to talkfests, and, sure enough, there’s lots of talk in this one, and when it’s in a language you can’t understand, it’s even worse. Still, the movie tries to jazz things up, though I’m not sure I care much for the changes; an evil manservant is thrown into the mix, as well as a dose of black magic dabbling and demon summoning. There’s also a plot twist that I’d probably understand better if I knew what the dialogue was saying, but I’ll not reveal it in case it would be a spoiler; it certainly caught me off guard. However, I really like one aspect of this one; it’s the only version I’ve seen that really emphasizes the crumbling state of the house itself; there are cracks in the walls, and the whole house shakes on occasion. There’s an especially memorable sequence involving a picture on a wall. Throw in some rats and decaying corpses to add to the fun. Really, as far as watching foreign movies in their original language goes, this was one of the more benign experiences I’ve had.

 

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Angel on Wheels (1959)

ANGEL ON WHEELS (1959)
aka Angel on Earth, Ein Engel auf Erden
Article 2449 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-16-2007
Posting Date: 4-26-2008
Directed by Geza von Radvanyi
Featuring Romy Schneider, Henri Vidal, Michele Mercier
A race car driver encounters a woman who claims to be his guardian angel. The angel, trying to prevent his marriage to a self-serving socialite, takes the form of an airline hostess who is in love with the race car driver.

ANGEL ON WHEELS? I don’t know where they concocted that title for this slight romantic comedy; the race car driver isn’t the angel, and though the angel does ride in wheeled vehicles on occasion, it’s hardly a significant plot element. As for the movie itself, it’s cute but rather dull, and the most interesting thing about it is the presence of Jean-Paul Belmondo one year before BREATHLESS was a hit of the French New Wave. He plays the hero’s sidekick, and he’s really not given much to do. Easily stealing the movie is Margarete Haagen as the chief angel; dressed as one of those nuns that you don’t want to mess with, she has the best parts of the movie, such as when she takes over the other angel’s duties at an auto race. Other than that, this is a fairly forgettable angel-on-earth story.

 

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Whistling in Dixie (1942)

WHISTLING IN DIXIE (1942)
Article 2448 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-15-2007
Posting Date: 4-25-2008
Directed by S. Sylvan Simon
Featuring Red Skelton, Ann Rutherford, George Bancroft

A radio personality known as “The Fox” goes to Georgia to help solve a real-life crime in which a man was murdered, but the body then disappeared.

This was the second of three comedies in which Red Skelton played radio detective Wally Benton; I’ve already covered WHISTLING IN THE DARK , but I will most likely not be covering the third (WHISTLING IN BROOKLYN), as it apparently has no fantastic content. In fact, this one doesn’t have much either outside of a little spooky atmosphere on occasion. The movie is moderately funny, though it’s not quite up to the level of the previous one. Still, it does have one wonderful moment of comic suspense when Red places himself in chopping distance of a guillotine, unaware that he has just set his cigarette down in a place that is slowly burning the rope that holds the blade up. Ann Rutherford also returns from the previous movie, as does Rags Ragland, who not only reprises his tough guy role from the earlier movie, but also plays his twin brother. The movie gets a fair amount of comic mileage out of the confusion between the two brothers. All in all, a good, but not great, comedy.

 

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Star Virgin (1979)

STAR VIRGIN (1979)
Article 2447 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-14-2007
Posting Date: 4-24-2008
Directed by Howard Ziehm
Featuring Kari Klark, Kevin Thompson, Tracy Walton

The last of the human species, a female, quizzes her robot mentor about sex.

One thing you can be pretty sure about any movie with the word “virgin” in the title; the movie is going to have precious little to do with virginity, especially if he movie can only be found in that section of the video store that prominently displays multiple iterations of the 24th letter of the alphabet. You can also be confident that, despite the existence of certain fantastic content incidental to the plot (and I use the word loosely) will have very little to do with what the movie is really about, and such is the case here. So we have a setting in the future, a robot, the devil, and a vampire in a spooky old castle, but the movie is more interested in other (very explicit) details. As such, there’s little more for me to say about this one.

 

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