Month: September 2017

Alligator (1980)

ALLIGATOR (1980)
Article 2222 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-16-2007
Posting Date: 9-12-2007
Directed by Lewis Teague
Featuring Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Michael V. Gazzo

A giant alligator is loose in the sewer system of Chicago after having been kept as a pet and then flushed down the toilet and forced to dine on the carcasses of animals used in scientific experiments.

On the surface this movie is just a rather ordinary JAWS variation. Those who look a little closer, though, might find a number of amusing little touches that give it an added boost. A welcome and subtle sense of humor is one of the big pluses, and for those who keep a sharp lookout, you’ll see references to “The Honeymooners”, THE THIRD MAN, and a popular comic strip. There’s even a visual reference to the James Bond movies; at least I thought so during one of the shots of a sewer tunnel. It also has one scene-stealing performance; Henry Silva shows up as a big game hunter who is intent on bagging the giant gator himself, and he is wonderful. If you’ve seen as many jungle movies as I have, you should appreciate the satire in the scene where he tries to hire some of the “native help”. These fun touches help compensate for the occasionally flat direction and some rather cliched characters. The story was co-written by independent filmmaker John Sayles, who has occasionally ventured into fantastic territory; he worked on PIRANHA, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, THE HOWLING and THE BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET, to name a few. The movie also features Dean Jagger and, in a memorable cameo, the great character actor Mike Mazurki.

 

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Toto nella luna (1958)

TOTO NELLA LUNA (1958)
aka Toto in the Moon
Article 2221 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-15-2007
Posting Date: 9-11-2007
Directed by Steno
Featuring Toto, Sylva Koscina, Ugo Tognazzi

When an Italian man is discovered to have an element in his blood similar to one found in monkey’s blood, American scientists believe he will be the ideal man to send into space. However, there are complications with German spies and aliens from outer space.

There are several familiar names in the cast and crew; Ugo Tognazzi is mostly famous for his appearance in LA CAGE AUX FOLLES, Sylva Koscina appeared in HERCULES UNCHAINED , DEADLIER THAN THE MALE and JULIET OF THE SPIRITS, among others. and co-writer Lucio Fulci would go on to become the director of a number of gory Italian horror movies. I wish I could say much about their contributions here, but given that my copy of the movie is in unsubtitled Italian (the plot description above is pieced together from what I could figure out), I can’t really say too much. It was a vehicle for an Italian comedian known as Toto, and much of the humor is verbal. Still, there are some interesting plot elements here; the story initially seems to revolve around the cover of a magazine known as SOUBRETTE, the aliens are represented as disembodied eyes who communicate over great distances, and the aliens are able to use pods to duplicate people (which makes me think that someone involved saw INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS ). It looks fun enough, but it’s always hard to tell in these circumstances; with subtitles or dubbing, it could turn out to be just dumb. Nonetheless, there appears to be a considerable amount of science fiction content, not least of which are the various pieces of science fiction artwork that pop up in the story.

 

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Witchcraft ’70 (1970)

WITCHCRAFT ’70 (1970)
aka Angeli bianchi…angeli neri
Documentary
Article 2220 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-14-2007
Posting Date: 9-10-2007
Directed by Luigi Scattine and Lee Frost
Featuring Edmund Purdom, Alberto Bevilacqua, Anton LaVey

This is a documentary about witchcraft around the world.

I don’t know whether this documentary about the various witchcraft rituals from around the world is faked, partially faked, or all real, but if it has been faked, it does a good job of making it look like it isn’t. It might make a good companion piece to WITCHCRAFT THROUGH THE AGES , though I don’t think it’s quite as entertaining. It generally eschews interviews in favor of ritual footage, though it does feature interview footage of a policeman commenting on the prevalence of witchcraft in his area (which he links to the increase of drug use) and a spoken interview with an initiate. It covers both black and white witchcraft; the most interesting example of this is the filming of two competing rituals in Rio de Janeiro during Carnivale. It gets rather dull at times, largely because there really isn’t enough variety between the various rituals to keep one from being bored. The Anton LaVey footage is interesting, in that the commentator talks about the subdued and rather bored feeling to the Satanic rituals, which he attributes to the fact that they go through it almost three times a day; there’s nothing that sucks the magic out of a ritual like its over-repetition. Some of the rituals were filmed with the permission of its participants, others were filmed in secret, and for some they found it necessary to purchase amateur footage in place of any that they could shoot themselves.

The movie does not say that witches and Satanists have real power; it is more interested in the fact that those who engage in the rituals do believe in its power. It saves any messages it has for the end of the movie when, after footage of a group of hippie Satanists, it makes the point of explaining that the location of the ritual is not far from the home of the Manson family, and that, though none of the filmed rituals here actually include such an action, there always exists the possibility of the revival of human sacrifice.

Oh, yes, and there are lots of naked people in the rituals. I’m guessing that this may be the primary appeal of the movie to some.

 

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Who Killed Mary What’s ‘er Name? (1971)

WHO KILLED MARY WHAT’S ‘ER NAME? (1971)
Article 2219 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-13-2007
Posting Date: 9-9-2007
Directed by Ernest Pintoff
Featuring Red Buttons, Sylvia Miles, Conrad Bain

Upon his dismissal from the hospital, a diabetic ex-boxer decides to investigate the murder of a hooker when the authorities fail to make any investigation of their own. He rents out the hooker’s former apartment, and begins questioning the offbeat characters who knew her.

This movie was listed in John Stanley’s CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE STRIKES AGAIN, but, as happens occasionally with some of his entries in the book, this one has no fantasy, science fiction or horror elements to it that would merit its inclusion. However, I agree with his evaluation of the movie, in that it is not the plot that really makes this movie work; it’s the plethora of odd and curious characters that populate the world of this movie, not least of which is our hero played excellently by Red Buttons. There’s also a filmmaker who covers the neighborhood trying to get cinema verite footage for a movie about hookers and a junkie who torments prostitutes to win the support (and money) of old women to satisfy his habit, as well as a likable prostitute, a suspicious cop, and a friendly bartender, as well as a buddy who helps him with his investigation. These characters go a long ways towards keeping our interest when the story falters or gets confusing. As well as those listed above, the cast features David Doyle as one of the prostitute’s clients (with the nickname of Captain Marvel) , and Ron Carey, who I remember from “Barney Miller”. It’s not a perfect movie, but the strengths are greater than the weaknesses.

 

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Spy Squad (1961)

SPY SQUAD (1961)
aka Capture That Capsule
Article 2218 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-12-2007
Posting Date: 9-8-2007
Directed by Will Zens
Featuring Richard Jordahl, Pat Bradley, Richard Miller

Communist spies try to get their hands on the capsule of a downed rocket that will give them important information. Unbeknownst to them, the capsule was actually planted by CIA agents who have planted a homing device inside in the hopes that the spies will lead them to their boss.

This is either the single most dunderheaded spy movie ever made, or one of the most slyly subtle comedies to pop up on my list in some time. Yet, despite the wealth of evidence against it, I suspect it’s the former. It’s directed by Will Zens, who I’m mostly familiar with for having directed a dead-in-the-water military drama called THE STARFIGHTERS, and this movie certainly reminds me of it at times, with its wealth of conversational dialogue that goes nowhere. Despite the fact that the Russian spies speak perfect colloquial English, they still call each other “Comrade” on every occasion, and one repeatedly uses the word “cotton-pickin'” as well. These are some of the most hapless spies I’ve ever seen, what with their internal bickering and their ability to find the most absurd obstacles possible, including run-ins with the Department of Game and Fish, a fatal encounter with a bathing beauty with a spear gun, the theft of the capsule by an eight-year-old boy looking for his pet snake, and being dragged into a cocktail party by an over-eager hostess. The supposedly-valuable capsule looks like a painted conical road marker, and it’s treated with such disdain by everyone who gets near it that it’s hard to believe it’s supposed to be valuable. After a while, the hilarious absurdity of the thing becomes its great strength; it just gets funnier as it goes along. The fantastic content is extremely slight if there’s any at all, though, and even though IMDB lists Dick Miller in the cast, the movie bills someone named Richard Miller who is a totally different person. If you like your bad movies funny, this one is recommended.

 

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The Time Machine (1978)

THE TIME MACHINE (1978)
TV-Movie
Article 2217 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-11-2007
Posting Date: 9-7-2007
Directed by Henning Schellerup
Featuring John Beck, Priscilla Barnes, Andrew Duggan

A scientist at a weapons lab spends his time working on a time machine. When he believes that a project for an anti-matter bomb will prove fatal to mankind, he goes into the future to find proof that will help him to prevent the weapon’s development.

The source that listed this movie claims that this movie, though based off of the H.G. Wells novel, has nothing to do with the story. That is not true; about half of the movie follows the events in the novel, what with the main character going into the future and meeting the Eloi and the Morlocks. The movie adds a lot of extra stuff, including some rather silly trips to the past (the time traveler almost gets burned as a witch; he gets jailed in western times and escapes when the Younger brothers rob the bank), and it slops some anti-war messages into the mix (the Eloi and the Morlock come about due to the explosion of an anti-matter bomb the traveler was assigned to work on in his own time). Granted, the George Pal version did a bit of that as well, but it did with more wit and finesse; here, it’s thuddingly obvious and utterly predictable. A weak script, cliched dialogue, and unimaginative direction all sink this one; if it did anything, it really made me appreciate more the good job Pal did with his version. In particular, I like the way the Eloi were portrayed in the Pal version; they really felt like an alien culture and a race apart, while here they’re just ordinary humans in togas and blonde hair. I’ll give the movie some credit in coming up with a fairly cool-looking time machine, but even at that, it’s not as cool as the one in Pal’s version. Still, it does feature a few familiar faces such as Andrew Duggan and Whit Bissell.

 

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Mision suicida (1973)

MISION SUICIDA (1973)
aka Suicide Mission
Article 2216 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-10-2007
Posting Date: 9-6-2007
Directed by Federico Curiel
Featuring Santo, Lorena Velazquez, Elsa Cardenas

Santo takes on a suicide mission involving fighting lots of villains, facial surgery, a highly-trained fighting squad of bikini clad women, and scrapbooking Nazis.

IMDB places this movie in the Science Fiction category. If there is some science fiction here, I’m afraid it’s invisible to me, as my print is undubbed and unsubtitled. Still, it’s the first Santo movie I’ve seen in color, and I must admit that he has an impressive wardrobe; he seems to have a different outfit in every scene. Fans of other Mexican wrestling movies should recognize Lorene Velazquez here, who played Gloria Venus in the wrestling women movies of the sixties. If you’re adequately entertained by endless fistfights, this might work for you; for me, the static direction and the abysmal score (you know the music’s bad when it sounds like it should belong in a Tex and Edna Boil commercial) make this a tough slog. And if anyone out there has an inkling of what the science fiction content is here, feel free to chime in at any time.

Postscript: Once again, doctor kiss has come to the rescue. According to him, the science fiction content here is that the Nazis are using a new brainwashing drug.

 

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The Red Mill (1927)

THE RED MILL (1927)
Article 2215 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-9-2007
Posting Date: 9-5-2007
Directed by Roscoe ‘Fatty’ Arbuckle
Featuring Marion Davies, Owen Moore, Louise Fazenda

In a Dutch village, the maid to a tyrannical burgomaster falls in love with a visiting Irishman. She tries to win him while saving the burgomaster’s daughter from entering a forced marriage with the governor. However, the burgomaster has a way of dealing with those that get in his way; he locks them up in a haunted mill.

Here’s another movie that sat on my list for some time before it finally manifested itself in a showing on TCM, and, as usual, I’m glad to finally see it. However, that doesn’t keep me from consigning it to the non-essential viewing category for fans of fantastic cinema. The haunted mill isn’t really haunted (though I can’t think of why a skeleton is stored in there), but it’s passably scary in the last ten minutes of the movie, which, outside of a couple of minutes in the middle of the movie, is the only time it gets used. The rest of the movie is a light and inconsequential romantic comedy based on an operetta, and I found it only mildly amusing at best. Most of the humor seems to come from the odd dialogue that appears on the title cards, but these get old fairly quickly, and I only found a few laughs along the way. Still, the cast is spirited enough, and those who like romantic comedies might find it their cup of tea. For me, the best moments come at the end, particularly with some of the stunt work involved in having characters climbing on the arms of a windmill. Incidentally, this was made after the scandal that destroyed Arbuckle’s career, and was directed under the nom de plume of William Goodrich.

 

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Forced Entry (1975)

FORCED ENTRY (1975)
Article 2214 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-8-2007
Posting Date: 9-4-2007
Directed by JIm Sotos
Featuring Tanya Roberts, Ron Max, Nancy Allen

A serial rapist is on the loose. He begins to stalk a housewife.

It is possible to make a movie on such an unpleasant subject if you find some way to make it worth the trouble of seeing it. It could have a real insight into the psyche of the perpetrator, or it could be stylistically fascinating, or it could have a real cathartic effect once it’s all over, just to name a few. However, if the movie does nothing more than stick us with this unpleasant character for the length of the movie, than I have little use for it, and that’s what this movie does. Yes, the rapist is fairly creepy, but it’s a one-note type of creepiness that doesn’t change for the length of the movie. I didn’t anticipate enjoying this film and I didn’t; nor did I get anything out of it to make the watching of it worth the effort. The nicest thing I can say about it is that it is easier to take than the movie of which it is a remake, a hardcore porno version of the story which I inadvertently stumbled upon while hunting for this one, and which dwells endlessly on the explicit details of the rapes. Quite frankly, I’m glad to be done with both of them.

 

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Targets (1968)

TARGETS (1968)
Article 2213 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-7-2007
Posting Date: 9-3-2007
Directed by Peter Bogdanovich
Featuring Tim O’Kelly, Boris Karloff, Arthur Peterson

An over-the-hill horror actor decides to retire from acting in the belief that the horror movies he is making are irrelevant amidst the horrors of the modern age. Meanwhile, a disturbed young middle-class man snaps mentally, kills his wife and mother, and then goes out on a shooting spree.

It’s easy to hate Karloff’s last four Mexican movies for no other reason than their abysmal quality. However, there is a greater reason to hate them; were it not for them, this movie would have been his last film appearance, and given its personal relevance to Karloff and his career, I can’t think of a better farewell movie for any actor. Director Peter Bogdanovich was given free reign to make any film he wanted to by Roger Corman, provided that he used stock footage from THE TERROR and used Boris Karloff’s skills as an actor for two days. Bogdanovich crafted the inspired and self-referential script, in which a director (played by Bogdanovich himself) tries to convince a retiring horror actor (Karloff) to do one more movie with a script specially crafted for his talents. For horror fans, the movie is fascinating; the contrast with the more conventional cinematic horrors (represented here by footage from THE TERROR) and the cold modern-day horrors (the sniper on the loose) is fascinating. It’s possible to approach the movie primarily from the point of view of what it says about violence in our society, but I’ve always felt this was a bit too limiting. Though the sniping scenes are scary, it is Karloff who makes the movie memorable. My favorite scenes include a sequence where both him and the director wake up in the same bed after having drunk too much the night before (Karloff scares two people in this scene), one in which Karloff decides to take advantage of his public appearance by telling a scary story (which puts his story-telling abilities on display), and his encounter with the sniper in the final scenes of the movie and his last line ( “Is that what I was afraid of?”). It may have well been Karloff’s most complex movie performance since the Val Lewton days. The movie also features a memorable clip of Karloff from Howard Hawks’s THE CRIMINAL CODE.

 

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