UFO (1956)

UFO (1956)
(a.k.a. UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OBJECTS: THE TRUE STORY OF FLYING SAUCERS)
Article #1650 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-20-2005
Posting Date: 2-17-2006
Directed by Winston Jones
Featuring Tom Towers, Nicholas Mariana, Delbert Newhouse

A reporter finds himself in the middle of a rash of flying saucer sightings.

This movie is a pseudodocumentary, which is to say that it largely consists of reenactments of flying saucer sightings. An actor plays the role of reporter Albert M. Chop, while most of the rest of the cast is playing themselves. And I do mean playing themselves rather than being themselves; at all times, it feels like they’re reading from a script rather than telling of events off of the top of their heads, and seeing how none of them feel like natural actors, it all feels rather wooden rather than vividly real.

For the record, I tend to hover somewhere between skepticism and “Maybe…” on issues like this. The movie doesn’t really do a bad job; the attention to detail is a plus, and the unsensational way in which everything is presented allows the viewer to come to their own conclusions. It might change some people’s minds on the matter, but it really didn’t have an effect on mine, and its biggest selling point (it has actually filmed footage of sightings) isn’t anything I haven’t seen before. As entertainment, though, the wooden presentation does make viewing the movie a rather joyless and dull experience for much of its running time. You probably know whether you’d be interested in this one or not without any commentary by me, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s merely a curio.

Tower of Screaming Virgins (1968)

TOWER OF SCREAMING VIRGINS (1968)
(a.k.a. DER TURM DER VERBOTENEN LIEBE)
Article #1649 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-19-2005
Posting Date: 2-16-2006
Directed by Franz Antel
Featuring Jean Piat, Teri Tordai, Marie-Ange Anies

Some things happen in a tower.

Arrrgh! Here I am, reviewing the movies I was supposed to post this week for my MOTDs, and I discover that somehow, I managed to lose my review (written five months ago) for this movie! So, I have a choice; watch the movie again and write a new review, or wing it. My schedule being the way it is at the moment, I’ve chosen the latter course. I don’t remember much about the movie other than it was surprisingly more of a swashbuckler than any other genre (which is why the plot description is singularly useless) and I think the fantastic content consists of nothing more than the fact that some nasty murders nudge it into horror. Two points I do remember, though; one is that I was quite surprised to find that the movie was based on a work of Alexandre Dumas, and that if my research was correct, it was based not on a novel, but rather, a play.called LA TOUR DE NESLE. At any rate, there is nothing in Dumas’s title about screaming virgins. I also remember that as far as the title went, there was a tower, but there was precious little screaming and, given the randy conduct on the screen, no virgins to be seen.

The Terror of the Tongs (1961)

THE TERROR OF THE TONGS (1961)
Article #1648 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-18-2005
Posting Date: 2-15-2006
Directed by Anthony Bushell
Featuring Geoffrey Toone, Christopher Lee, Yvonne Monlaur

The captain of a ship takes on the Red Dragon Tong.

I must admit that I have trouble finding much to say about many of the Hammer films, and this one is no exception. It’s enjoyable enough on a certain basic level, the acting is quite good, and I always admire their production values when I consider the smallness of their budgets. Still, I often find their movies to have an air of routine to them, and despite the fact that they made definite contributions to the history of the horror film, I find for the most part, their movies don’t call me back for repeat viewings. Director Anthony Bushell was mostly known as an actor; he appeared in such movies as THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL and the Titanic movie A NIGHT TO REMEMBER; his directing credits were mostly for TV, but he does an acceptable job here. The most interesting names in the cast for me are those of Burt Kwouk, who would go on to play Cato in the Pink Panther films, and Roger Delgado, who will be instantly recognizable to DOCTOR WHO fans as the Doctor’s arch-foe, the Master.

The Monster and the Ape (1945)

THE MONSTER AND THE APE (1945)
(Serial)
Article #1647 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-17-2005
Posting Date: 2-14-2006
Directed by Howard Bretherton
Featuring Robert Lowery, George Macready, Ralph Morgan

When a scientific foundation creates a robot called the Metalogen Man, an evil scientist who helped create him decides that he wants to use the robot for his own nefarious purposes, towards this end, he uses a trained ape to commit murder.

Viewing Note: My copy of this serial was in faulty condition. As a result, I missed most of episode three, as well as episodes four through seven. If anything I claim about the serial is contradicted by footage in these episodes, please bear in mind that I have yet to catch them.

Given that I’m a lot more partial to monsters and apes than to fistfights and lame cliffhangers, I actually looked forward to catching this serial in the hopes of it having a lot more of what I wanted. The fact that the cast featured Ralph Morgan, George Macready and Willie Best only made me more interested. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. It’s not so much that the monster in the title is actually a robot; though I like to think of my monsters as having been more organic than metallic in nature, a robot is a suitable and acceptable substitute. It’s just that I expected a lot more monster and ape action than the serial really gave me. Most of the time the robot just sits in the corner and does nothing, and some episodes feature the ape doing nothing more than walking back and forth in his cage at the zoo. As far as the cast goes, they all seem to be merely walking through their parts; even Willie Best seems mostly bored, and his comic dialogue is extraordinarily weak. Granted, his muted performance does leave his character with a bit more dignity than his characters are usually given. The only actor who seems to be having fun here is Ray Corrigan playing Thor the Gorilla; he’s positively playful here, and it may be his best performance in a gorilla costume. But ultimately, what we’re left with here is mostly fistfights and lame cliffhangers, with the latter often going beyond mere cheating cliffhangers into the realm of lying cliffhangers. And the one scene we the viewers are entitled to expect – a knock-down drag-out fight between the title characters – is nowhere to be found, and those hoping for one will be very disappointed when one of the title characters has its last gasp at the top of episode fourteen. This makes me wonder if Corrigan may have played a dual role here, as I see no credit for the actor playing the Metalogen man. At any rate, this one is a disappointment.

Strange Cargo (1940)

STRANGE CARGO (1940)
Article #1646 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-16-2005
Posting Date: 2-13-2006
Directed by Frank Borzage
Featuring Joan Crawford, Clark Gable, Ian Hunter

Several convicts stage a daring escape from Devil’s Island. One of the escapees is a man who has seemingly appeared out of nowhere and may have supernatural powers.

On the surface, this appears to be nothing more than a prison melodrama, but even those who wish to enjoy it on that level will have to contend somewhat with the fact that it is a religious allegory as well. The character of Cambreau (Ian Hunter) is supposed to be Jesus Christ, and there are plenty of clues in this regard. Those who dislike religious themes in their movies may have little use for this one; for me, how I feel about religious themes in movies is dependent on how they’re used. If the religion is handled via the use of platitudes, doctrine and cute observations, I have little use for it. If it deals with resonant and powerful themes and the compelling symbolism that underlies much of it, I find it a lot more satisfying; it’s the difference between mere dogma and true spirituality. The theme of redemption is strong in this movie, and the movie gains much of its power from it. It is also full of symbolism, both verbal and visual, and it can actually be a lot of fun to observe various characters, events and statements in the light of the religious themes. Here are some touches I particularly like.

– The character of Telez (Eduardo Ciannelli), who has embraced a warped, selfish and angry religious viewpoint at odds with true spirituality.

– The thoroughly unrepentant character of Hessler (Paul Lukas); there’s a reason that Cambreau tells him that they won’t meet again.

– The fact that when Verne (Clark Gable) finally acqures a map of the escape route, it is drawn in the back pages of a Bible.

– The fact that the final scene is between Cambreau and a fisherman.

I find the movie fascinating and fun. It is well acted throughout, and other than the ones mentioned above, the cast also includes Peter Lorre (a character with the unflattering nickname of ‘Pig’) and Albert Dekker. I also do feel the need to make special mention of Joan Crawford’s performance. I’ve expressed more than once during this series my general dislike for Crawford and her performances, but this one makes me believe that I’ve not been watching her at her best. Here she is perfectly in character and works well in an ensemble fashion with the other actors, and she is wonderful. Incidentally, this will probably be the only movie with the wonderfully charismatic Clark Gable that I will be covering for this series.

The Road Builder (1971)

THE ROAD BUILDER (1971)
(a.k.a. THE NIGHT DIGGER)
Article #1645 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-15-2005
Posting Date: 2-12-2006
Directed by Alastair Reid
Featuring Patricia Neal, Pamela Brown, Nicholas Clay

Two women living in the country (a blind elderly woman and her repressed middle-aged daughter) take on a handyman that arrives unexpectedly one day. What they don’t know is that the handyman has a secret…

The feelings of deja vu were pretty strong for me with this one, and if you’ve seen the 1937 movie NIGHT MUST FALL, you’ll have them as well. It will also clue you in on the handyman’s secret, which isn’t made explicit until the movie’s halfway point, but seeing as to how every plot description I’ve read of this one gives it away, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to find out that the handyman has racked up a body count over the years. Nonetheless, despite its strong similarities to NIGHT MUST FALL, it’s hardly a rip-off or a remake; as the story develops, the character relationships take on distinctly different forms than the ones in that movie (which, combined with the fact that this movie didn’t have to adhere to the rules of the Hays Office, makes it somewhat more unpredictable), and I actually think those who are fond of the earlier film might find this variant on the story rather interesting. Certainly, the fact that the script was written by Roald Dahl should give an idea of the darkness behind the story. Nevertheless, I’m not quite sure the movie really works; there are some rather awkward moments, and its overall effect is one of sheer oddness. Both of the titles of the movie refer to the handyman’s method of disposing of the bodies.

Shadow of Chinatown (1936)

SHADOW OF CHINATOWN (1936/II)
(Feature Version of Serial)
Article #1644 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-14-2005
Posting Date: 2-11-2006
Directed by Robert F. Hill
Featuring Bela Lugosi, Joan Barclay, Bruce Bennett

A Eurasian merchant hires a mad scientist to scare off her competition in Chinatown. Unfortunately, the scientist has plans of his own…

Yes, it’s the feature version of the serial of the same name. I’m no big fan of the original serial (despite the presence of Lugosi), and that attitude extends to this version as well. It tries to tell the whole serial in seventy minutes; it’s kind of hard to tell if this one succeeds, though, because the serial didn’t have much of a story to begin with. It does have a couple of advantages over the serial; for one thing, it cuts the whole fishbowl cliffhanger, and for the other, it’s a lot shorter. For that last advantage, I’ll return the favor and end my review now.

Superargo (1968)

SUPERARGO (1968)
(a.k.a. IL RE DEI CRIMINALI / SUPERARGO VS. THE FACELESS GIANTS)
Article #1643 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-13-2005
Posting Date: 2-10-2006
Directed by Paolo Bianchini
Featuring Giovanni Cianfriglia, Guy Madison, Luisa Baratto

Superargo must solve a mystery in which robots have been kidnapping top athletes.

For those who like crosses between Chandu, Santo and James Bond, here’s another Superargo movie for you. This sequel to SUPERARGO VS. DIABOLICUS has him battling a bunch of robots called the Faceless Giants, so called despite the fact that they are neither giants nor particularly faceless (despite a generous use of stockings over the heads). With those bags under their eyes, they do look really tired ( I suppose they couldn’t have called the movie SUPERARGO AND THE NORMAL-SIZED SLEEPY GUYS), and sadly that description seems to apply to the movie as well. Though the earlier movie in the series got by via its novelty value and a sense of surprise, this one lacks those advantages. Still, if it sounds fun and you’re in an uncritical mood, you could do worse.

The Professor (1958)

THE PROFESSOR (1958)
Article #1642 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-12-2005
Posting Date: 2-9-2006
Directed by Tom McCain
Featuring Irene Barr, John S. Copeland, Doug Hobart

A scientist experiments with suspended animation while his daughter has an affair with a reporter, commies try to steal his secrets, and a werewolf roams the neighborhood.

This short was made in 1958 but not released until Greg Luce unleashed it to the public in 1988. It features a professor who is not from Mars, a geeky lab assistant, his beautiful daughter and her reporter boyfriend (who almost move while dancing), a bunny named Oliver, a neatly dressed werewolf and Russian communist spies with French accents who meet in the sports section of a local library. Got that? It also features howlingly bad dialogue, howlingly bad acting, and howlingly bad howling (from the werewolf). So how do all of these diverse elements combine into a coherent whole? Hint: it’s a trick question. Twenty-three minutes of jaw-dropping insanity. Don’t worry – it all has a point…and I’ll tell you what it is when I figure it out. The only familiar name in this mess is that of Doug Hobart as the werewolf, who would go on to play other monsters in two William Grefe films (STING OF DEATH and DEATH CURSE OF TARTU) and who designed the awful silly-putty makeup in SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM.

Jalopy (1953)

JALOPY (1953)
Article #1641 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-11-2005
Posting Date: 2-8-2006
Directed by William Beaudine
Featuring Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Bernard Gorcey

Slip is having little success in his new career as a race car driver until Sach invents a super fuel.

What I like the most about the Bowery Boys are the fun they have occasionally with fantastic genre conventions and Leo Gorcey’s malaprops (I’m a sucker for wordplay like this). What I like least is Huntz Hall’s clowning and mugging, which is why I had no fondness for the series once Gorcey left and they became Huntz Hall movies. This is pretty typical fare for them. There’s a bit of genre fun, and I enjoy Gorcey as always, but this is one where Hall is at his most annoying, and I didn’t enjoy it quite as well as some of the others in the series. As usual, none of the other Bowery Boys are given much to do. There’s some interesting names in the cast, though; one-time Batman Robert Lowery plays the villain, and perennial gorilla George Barrows and Ed Wood regular Conrad Brooks appear respectively as a race car driver and a party guest.