Month: November 2016

Inquisition (1976)

INQUISITION (1976)
(a.k.a. INQUISICION)
Article #1545 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-7-2005
Posting Date: 11-4-2005
Directed by Jacinto Molina (Paul Naschy)
Featuring Jacinto Molina, Daniela Giordano, Monica Randall

A trio of witch hunters arrive in town to ply their trade. While this is happening, the daughter of the magistrate agrees to sell her soul to the devil for the ability to take vengeance on the man who killed her lover.

The only Paul Naschy film I’ve covered to this point is THE FURY OF THE WOLFMAN, and even giving consideration for its poor dubbing, I was not impressed by either the movie or Naschy’s performance. This marks the first time I’ve seen him playing someone other than El Hombre Lobo, and I have no problem with him in this one. Here he seems to have the real charisma of a horror star, and on a purely physical level (i.e. recognizing the parts of his performance that bypass the poor dubbing), I can sense real emotion and feelings in his character. This is a good thing; I find myself now looking forward to how he handled his other roles.

The movie itself is also fairly effective. It’s in familiar territory involving witch hunters and witches, but I think there’s a little more to this one than CRY OF THE BANSHEE, for example. It has its problems, of course; some of the nudity feels unnecessary and pandering. The torture and violence is unpleasant, and even shocking at times, but at least the movie doesn’t appear to be primarily about sadism. It even manages to make you care about some of the characters, which is quite a trick when you consider how unsympathetic practically all of them are. I mean, is it really possible to choose between an evil that hypocritically believes it is good and one that sincerely believes it is the evil it is?

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The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959)

THE IMMORAL MR. TEAS (1959)
Article #1544 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-6-2005
Posting Date: 11-3-2005
Directed by Russ Meyer
Featuring Bill Teas, Ann Peters, Marilyn Wesley

After finding himself tempted by several sexy women during his job, an everyman character begins to fantasize about seeing them naked.

I’m going to reiterate at this point that my criteria for picking these movies is based on their inclusion in books that claim to be covering the genres of Horror, Fantasy and Science Fiction. This movie is listed in John Stanley’s “Creature Features Strike Back”, and the blurb claims the the Mr. Teas of the title takes a drug that allows him to see through clothing. I’m afraid Mr. Stanley and I haven’t seen the same movie. Mr. Teas takes no such drug; he merely fantasizes, and that really isn’t the same thing. Those drawn to the movie under the belief that there’s a fantastic theme here are advised to pass this one by.

Still, I do feel compelled to say that this is the best nudie I’ve seen to date. Granted, I’ve seen very few, and I really have no intention on becoming an expert on them, so take that for what you will. It is also the first Russ Meyer movie I’ve seen, and though this is considered a lesser work of his, I can see his appeal beyond just the ogling factor. The fact of the matter is that there is a wicked sense of humor at play here. He seems to be taking a bit of a satirical jab at those who would watch the movie, but would make some excuses for doing so. While watching three nubile young beauties romping around in the water without a shred of clothing, the narrator talks endlessly about things like the history of bathing, which was considered unhealthy at one point in history. Also consider that many of the times when Mr. Teas fantasizes about seeing women naked, he also fantasizes himself not paying attention to the fact that they’re naked, which is a fairly witty broadside at a certain type of hypocrisy. Let’s face it; there is something to be said for a director that can actually make a nudie interesting.

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I Drink Your Blood (1970)

I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1970)
Article #1543 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-5-2005
Posting Date: 11-2-2005
Directed by David E. Durston
Featuring Bhaskar roy Chowdhury, Jadine Wong, Rhonda Fultz

When a gang of Satanist hippies rapes a girl and force-feeds LSD to an elderly man, a young boy seeks revenge on them by injecting their meat pies with rabies. The hippies go crazy and embark on a killing spree.

“2 Great Blood-Horrors to Rip Out Your Guts!” screamed the adds when the double feature I DRINK YOUR BLOOD / I EAT YOUR SKIN made its way around the drive-in circuit. I’ve already covered the second feature, a lame zombie flick that certainly didn’t threaten your guts in any way. This one comes a lot closer to the type of movie that would be expected by those who were attracted by the promotional phrase. I think the gorehounds would probably be satisfied, though I’m not sure; the DVD claims that this is the uncut director’s version, which had to be cut to receive an ‘R’ rating, so how much of what I saw was actually seen by audiences back then, I don’t know. In it’s present form, it’s a bloody piece of nastiness, somewhat effective, and it hints somewhat at later movies such as LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and the works of David Cronenberg (particularly RABID). Ultimately, however, it’s a variation on NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. I’ve also heard it said that the movie might be a comedy, though that’s hard to say; the movie is extremely silly at times and has some laughable dialogue and acting, but I suspect any comedy is unintentional. Animal lovers will surely want to keep away; I suspect some of the scenes involve the real slaughter of animals.

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The Shadow (1940)

THE SHADOW (1940)
(Serial)
Article #1542 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-4-2005
Posting Date: 11-1-2005
Directed by James W. Horne
Featuring Victor Jory, Veda Ann Borg, Roger Moore

The Shadow fights a mysterious criminal known as The Black Tiger.

It’s another cinematic stab at The Shadow! I last dealt with one of these when I covered the movie BEHIND THE MASK (1946), and I was less than thrilled to find that movie had bypassed moody ambiance in favor of excessive comic relief, and that there had been no use of the Shadow’s vaunted ability to ‘cloud men’s minds’.

This one is a little better. I’m still waiting for him to cloud someone’s mind, but it looks like that ability was given to the villain himself; the Black Tiger becomes invisible before meeting with his henchman (actually, these moody smoke-filled scenes are some of the best in the serial). At least this serial doesn’t drown in comic relief; the sole concession to it here is that one of the Black Tiger’s henchmen is a little on the dim side. So, if the Shadow can’t cloud men’s minds, what can he do? Well, he can let villains know he’s around by engaging in his sinister laugh.

The setup here is this: Lamont Cranston fights crime in the guise of the Shadow, but the police believe that the Shadow is actually a criminal, and possibly, the Black Tiger himself. Lamont Cranston also disguises himself as a Chinese shopkeeper named Lin Chang, who is able to consort with the underworld. This would be an interesting set-up if it didn’t set off sirens in my head. The fact of the matter is that rather than giving the Shadow his famed abilities, the writers used Serial Development Rule #1 – Whenever adapting a famous character to the serial format, ignore the character’s known talents and just shoehorn him into the standard serial format. In this case, they borrowed the whole setup for the Spider in THE SPIDER’S WEB, and applied it to the Shadow. Remember Blinky McQuade?

Now, let’s talk cliffhangers again. I’ve gone on about cheating cliffhangers and car-bail cliffhangers before, but now it’s time to discuss another lame type of cliffhanger—The “I’m Indestructible or Just Really Lucky” cliffhanger. These are the types in which our hero is in some sort of life threatening situation, and the resolution is that he just happened to survive. This serial is one of the worst offenders I’ve seen, and it’s almost always used in the same form, to wit—

1. The Shadow is trapped in a room.
2. The room explodes and all sorts of stuff falls off the ceiling.
3. The episode ends.
4. In the resolution, the Shadow just pulls himself out of the wreckage and walks away.

I can’t tell you how often this happens this time around! In fact, there are two episodes in particular that underline the overuse of this. In one of them, the episode begins with the aforementioned resolution; the Shadow walks away from the debris of a wrecked room. The actual cliffhanger of that episode does not involve an exploding room, but since each episode also includes exciting scenes from the next episode, we see that the next episode also has the Shadow trapped in an exploding room, and sure enough, that turns out to be the cliffhanger in the next episode. Being given two cliffhangers in one episode wouldn’t be a disappointment if they weren’t so lame.

The other instance is in the cliffhanger of episode 14. The moment where several men are being poisoned by gas in a sealed room was actually rather powerful (thanks to an effective use of music). The Shadow breaks in and tries to rescue the men, but he begins to succumb to the gas himself. This would have made a decent cliffhanger, if—

—right, you guessed it—

—there was then an explosion, all sorts of stuff fell off the ceiling, and the episode ended.

And guess what happens at the top of the next episode?

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The Hyena of London (1964)

THE HYENA OF LONDON (1964)
(a.k.a. LA JENA DI LONDRA)
Article #1541 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-3-2005
Posting Date: 10-31-2005
Directed by Gino Mangini
Featuring Bernard Price, Diana Martin, Tony Kendall

A killer known as the Hyena of London is executed. A few days later, his coffin is found empty. Soon after that, new murders start being committed in a village near London.

The title of this movie is THE HYENA OF LONDON. The movie opens with the title character’s execution, followed by the discovery that his coffin is empty. Then the movie changes locations. Pretty soon, murders begin happening all over again. Now, if you’re like me, you may not necessarily know the circumstances of the murder, but you can bet good money on one thing at least—that is, that the murders have something to do with the title character. And you’d be right; the movie does get around to establishing that the murders do have something to do with the title character (and the circumstances add a little science fiction to the plot as well as the horror elements). The only trouble is, they make no attempt to establish this connection until about five minutes before the movie ends. In short, this movie’s entire plot can be found in the first five minutes and the last five minutes of the movie.

So, what makes up the rather sizable center of this movie? Two things – incident and obfuscation. By incident, I mean that in order to have a mystery about murders, you have to spend some screen time on the murders themselves—that is incident. And by obfuscation, I mean any extraneous subplots whose sole design is to obscure the plot and fill running time, and ultimately they have nothing to do with the story. You can safely consign the sizable amount of time this movie spends on the amours of the various characters to this category.

Now, I can understand the purpose of this; after all, the movie is at least partially a mystery, and what’s a mystery without a certain amount of red herrings and misdirection? The trouble is, in a good mystery, you never realize that the red herrings and misdirection ARE red herrings and misdirection. In this one, you are keenly aware that the red herrings and misdirection are exactly that, and it makes for a frustrating and unsatisfactory viewing experience. Feel free to pass this one by.

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Destination Saturn (1966)

DESTINATION SATURN (1966)
Article #1540 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-2-2005
Posting Date: 10-30-2005
Directed by Ford Beebe and Saul A. Goodkind
Featuring Buster Crabbe, Constance Moore, Jackie Moran

Buck Rogers ends up in the 25th century and joins a group of rebels intent on defeating the evil Killer Kane.

Yes, it’s another feature version of a serial (BUCK ROGERS, to be precise) – twelve weeks of excitement crammed into ninety minutes in much the same way that Cinderella’s sisters tried to squash their feet into the glass slipper. It’s pretty much the same routine; though I can intellectually appreciate the idea of the thrill-a-minute action movie this technique is supposed to produce, in truth, the deluge of repetitive action sequences causes the movie to collapse under its own weight and sink into dullness. However, you can feel free to ignore my commentary if you like this sort of thing; I’ve expressed my distaste before about this whole serial-into-feature process, and I’ll readily admit that my prejudice against it colors these reviews. Still, you can’t blame me for wishing that they had at least taken the trouble to make the music on this one fit the action; as it is, the music jumps back and forth between pompous and comic without paying any attention to the action on the screen. Still, I understand why the music is the way it is; to have spent more time on it would have no doubt cut into the slender profit margin they surely expected from this sort of thing.

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Crimes at the Dark House (1940)

CRIMES AT THE DARK HOUSE (1940)
Article #1539 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-1-2005
Posting Date: 10-29-2005
Directed by George King
Featuring Tod Slaughter, Sylvia Marriott, Hilary Eaves

A con artist murders a prospector and takes over his identity under the belief that he will be heir to a fortune. Unfortunately, he discovers that he was actually the heir to a whopping debt, and must engage in further murder and mayhem to recoup his losses.

You know, you really have to hand it to Tod Slaughter. It takes a special talent to walk that tightrope in which he managed to be so gleefully villainous without actually falling into complete parody, and when you’re given lines like “I’ll feed your entrails to the pigs!”, you’re going to need that sense of balance. Though I still prefer the perverse CRIMES OF STEPHEN HAWKE, there is no doubt that this movie is one of Tod Slaughter’s finest hours, and it may even be a better introduction to his style for those unfamiliar with his work. Slaughter is just hypnotic; you always know what’s running through his mind even when he hasn’t said a thing, and he has a way of loading his every gesture with meaning. It’s also packed full of great lines; outside of the entrails line quoted above, check out his teetotaler line towards the end of the movie. It’s only marginally horror, but some of the murders are quite grotesque, and the theme of madness rears its head as well.

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City of Lost Men (1935)

CITY OF LOST MEN (1935)
(a.k.a. THE LOST CITY)
Article #1538 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-31-2005
Posting Date: 10-28-2005
Directed by Harry Revier
William ‘Stage’ Boyd, Kane Richmond, Claudia Dell

A madman named Zolok plans to take over the world with his electrical machine hidden in the African jungle.

At this point I’ve seen many of the classic serials – DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE, GANG BUSTERS, SPY SMASHER, FLASH GORDON, THE CRIMSON GHOST, etc. So why is it that the one whose siren song I hearken to with the most affection is one of the cheesiest of the lot, THE LOST CITY? I don’t know; maybe I’m just perverse. It is, after all, the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of serials, loaded with bad acting and hilarious dialogue. Maybe it’s because I can actually tell all the characters apart, something that doesn’t happen very often with other serials. Maybe it’s just because the campy acting, bad dialogue, silly costumes and general air of cheapness holds my interest a lot more than non-stop action. I don’t know. The fact of the matter is that I just love that serial.

Heck, I even like this feature edit of the serial, though reportedly this is just one of several. Nevertheless, I do think that this serial-turned-feature does at least one thing right; rather than attempting to cram the whole serial into eighty minutes, it just grafts together the first three and a half episodes and then staples on the last ten minutes of the last episode. Does this result in an outrageous break in continuity? It sure does. The simple fact of the matter is, though, that I find this huge break of continuity much easier to bear than the flood of nonstop action of most other feature versions of serials. Besides, the best part of the original serial was the first few episodes and the ending anyway. And I do find it rather amusing that at this point my tolerance for the feature version of a serial runs in inverse proportion to the quality of the serial itself.

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How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965)

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965)
Article #1537 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-30-2005
Posting Date: 10-27-2005
Directed by William Asher
Featuring Annette Funicello, Dwayne Hickman, Brian Donlevy

Frankie is worried that Dee Dee will be unfaithful to him while he is in the naval reserve on a tropical island. He consults a local witch doctor, who agrees to do two things; he sends an attractive woman to the beach to keep the guys’ eyes off of Dee Dee, and sends out a pelican to keep an eye on Dee Dee.

I’ve had little call to cover any of the Beach Party movies as part of the series (unless DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, which makes a few references to the series, counts), and this is said to be one of the weaker entries. Based on this one, I’d have to say that the movies seem a little dumb but also rather disarming; there’s something about the spirit in which they are done which makes them painless viewing, and the silly hijinks come naturally (whereas they feel forced in some of the imitators). Then there are also the guest stars to pep things up, and this one features Brian Donlevy (as B.D., which stands for several different things as far as I can tell) and Buster Keaton as Bwana, the Witch Doctor; though the latter role might seem a little embarrassing, it’s still a huge step up for Keaton from stuff like BOOM IN THE MOON). Nonetheless, it’s Mickey Rooney who comes across best among the guest stars; in many ways, this sort of movie wasn’t all that far from the kinds of movies he made with Judy Garland, and he gets right in to the spirit of things. The movie also features the usual antics of Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his motorcycle gang, a tough guy named North Dakota Pete (played by Len Lesser), the aforementioned scene-stealing pelican, and a memorable cameo appearance from someone playing the Witch Doctor’s daughter (it’s best to let this one catch you by surprise).

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Diabolique (1955)

DIABOLIQUE (1955)
(a.k.a. LES DIABOLIQUES)
Article #1536 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-29-2005
Posting Date: 10-26-2005
Directed by Henri-Georges Clouzot
Featuring Simone Signoret, Vera Clouzot, Paul Meurisse

A man’s wife and his mistress conspire together to murder him.

This suspense thriller is considered a classic, and rightly so. However, it is also rather widely known, and over the years I’ve heard enough about it and its influence that the movie didn’t hold a lot of surprises to me. In particular, knowing that this movie was influential on one specific director and having had access to several of that director’s movies (some of which borrow heavily from DIABOLIQUE) was enough to clue me off on several crucial plot points.

Writing about movies like this without engaging in spoilers is also a nightmare; even slight, subtle hints have the potential to give things away. Therefore, I’ll just say this; if you haven’t seen the movie and haven’t heard much about it and all, you’d be best off watching it now before you learn more. This is one movie that thrives on surprise, and to say more would be to give things away. Suffice it to say that the movie does move into the realm of horror before all is said and done, and thus does qualify as genre.

And, to the movies credit, the final moment of the movie does have one last surprise that I didn’t see coming.

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