The Lost Missile (1958)

THE LOST MISSILE (1958)
Article #951 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-22-2003
Posting Date: 3-20-2004
Directed by William A. Berke
Featuring Robert Loggia, Ellen Parker, Phillip Pine

A missile of extraterrestrial origin and of a temperature of one million degrees begins orbiting the earth, burning up everything in its path.

Though the central concept is more than a little far-fetched (a million degrees is painfully excessive), it’s also engaging enough to make this one fairly interesting. It’s also helped by the fact that the acting is fairly good throughout, and that the scenes directed specifically for this movie do have the necessary sense of drama and pacing that is vital to making the story come alive. However, it’s badly crippled by its sheer cheapness, which results in the movie having to rely on huge amounts of stock footage and narration to get by. In fact, this movie probably has a greater percentage of stock footage than INVASION U.S.A., and though it makes better use of it than that one did, there’s still far too much of it for the movie to handle, and after a while my patience wears out. It’s a shame; this would have made an above-average thriller if a little more money had been thrown into it. Incidentally, the script was cowritten by Jerome Bixby, who also wrote the script for IT, THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE and the short story, “It’s a GOOD Life”.

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The H-Man (1958)

THE H-MAN (1958)
Article #950 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-21-2003
Posting Date: 3-19-2004
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Featuring Yumi Shirakawa, Kenji Sahara, Akihiko Hirata

When a suspect in a narcotics case vanishes leaving nothing but his clothes behind, police are baffled. They are unaware that a blob-like creature that dissolves and eats people is on the loose.

There were several blob movies made during the fifties; the surprising thing is that many of them were quite good and that the plots had a fairly decent amount of variety to them. This was Toho’s take on the subject, and it was directed by the man who also handled many of the best Godzilla movies. The attack scenes are very effective, particularly during a sequence aboard a seemingly deserted ship, and they’re as creepy as anything in CALTIKI THE IMMORTAL MONSTER or some of the other blob movies. The movie’s main problem is that the monster footage is surrounded by a rather uninvolving crime story about narcotics dealers. This is acceptable during the first part of the story when the mystery of the left-over clothing drives the mystery, but once the monsters have manifested themselves, it would have been better if the crime subplot had been placed on the back burner. Instead, the focus remains largely on these aspects of the story rather than on the monster hunt. Nonetheless, there are many effective scenes, and the tone is somewhat low-key for a Japanese monster movie. You can even forgive the poor dubbing and the overuse of Paul Frees.

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Egghead’s Robot (1970)

EGGHEAD’S ROBOT (1970)
Article #949 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-20-2003
Posting Date: 3-18-2004
Directed by Milo Lewis
Featuring Keith Chegwin, Jeffrey Chegwin, Kathryn Dawe

A child uses a robot to substitute for him in a cricket game.

Adventures in Movie Hunting: One of the ironies of this whole project is that sometimes you spend a goodly amount of time hunting for movies that you suspect will prove to be ordinary and forgettable at best. I eventually found this one at Sendit.com (formerly Blackstar) on a double feature of movies by a group called the Children’s Film Foundation, and that was after stumbling across it on a google search, because you can’t search for it directly on the site. It’s fifty-three minutes long and consists entirely of by-the-numbers kiddie slapstick alternating with cricket footage, a game which (as I am not of British heritage) makes no sense to me whatever. Watch a robot mow the lawn really fast! Watch a robot accidentally uproot all the flowers in the garden, and then (through the magic of running the film backwards) put them all back in! Watch the grouchy groundskeeper fall into the pool of muddy water three (no, make that four) times! It’s not really awful, but the above description should give you a fairly good idea of what the whole thing is like. For robot completists only.

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Invasion of the Animal People (1959)

INVASION OF THE ANIMAL PEOPLE (1959)
(a.k.a. TERROR IN THE MIDNIGHT SUN/RYMDINVASION I LAPPLAND)
Article #948 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-19-2003
Posting Date: 3-17-2004
Directed by Virgil Vogel & Jerry Warren
Featuring Barbara Wilson, Sten Gester, Robert Burton

A meteor that crashes in the snow-covered wilds of Lappland turns out to be a spaceship, and a giant hair-covered animal is on the loose.

This movie was a Swedish/American co-production; the Swedish version was called RYMDINVASION I LAPPLAND; the American version was supposed to be called TERROR IN THE MIDNIGHT SUN, but was never released here until Jerry Warren got his mitts on it, editied in his own footage, and called it INVASION OF THE ANIMAL PEOPLE. IMDB treats all three versions as a single entity; since I have both the Jerry Warren version and the one known as TERROR IN THE MIDNIGHT SUN, I decided to watch them both for this entry in the series. The original version is no classic, but it has some wonderful moments; if the spaceship looks animated in the opening sequence, it nonetheless looks great when it plows through the snow for its landing. The shots of the monster are amazing for what was no doubt a low-budget movie; the twenty-foot monster actually looks that size, even in scenes where he is paired with the normal size humans. The motivations of the aliens never become clear, but the movie is coherent (if somewhat padded) and the Lappland footage is beautiful. It’s worth a look.

The Warren version is largely worth a look only to see just what kind of damage he could wreak with his horrible editing. He loved removing exposition from the movies he edited and replacing it with his own; the trouble is that exposition was his weakest point, as it usually involves a couple of people sitting and talking endlessly and vaguely about whatever it is they’re talking about. The end result is that very little information is conveyed to the viewer, since this directorial style causes the interest level in following the story to plummet and the desire to take a nap to rise dramatically. The Warren version is almost fifteen minutes longer than the original version, and the only thing that was added to the mix was the desire to not watch the movie at all; this is not a good thing.

A recent DVD version of this movie offers you both choices. From the comments above, you should have a good idea which one to opt for.

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I Married an Angel (1942)

I MARRIED AN ANGEL (1942)
Article #947 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-18-2003
Posting Date: 3-16-2004
Directed by W. S. Van Dyke II
Featuring Nelson Eddy, Jeanette MacDonald, Edward Everett Horton

A womanizing Count is urged to marry in order to make the bank investors feel secure, and then dreams that he marries an angel from heaven.

All it takes is one look at the names of Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald, and you should know what you’re getting into here; lots of operetta-style warbling. I’m no fan of this kind of thing, so I was very grateful for the presence of Edwart Everett Horton, who manages to brighten anything he appears in. Though I can’t exactly say it was dull, the sickly sweetness of the first half of the movie was hard to bear, but somewhere at the halfway point, it starts to get satirical when the Count holds a dinner party and the angel’s propensity for always telling the truth causes her to inadvertently insult all the guests. From here it then spirals into such utter weirdness that I can understand why this would prove to be the last time Eddy and MacDonald would work together. Other familiar faces include Reginald Owen (who played both Sherlock Holmes and Ebenezer Scrooge) and Douglas Dumbrille.

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I Eat Your Skin (1964)

I EAT YOUR SKIN (1964)
(a.k.a. ZOMBIES/VOODOO BLOOD BATH)
Article #946 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-17-2003
Posting Date: 3-15-2004
Directed by Del Tenney
Featuring William Joyce, Heather Hewitt, Betty Hyatt Linton

A writer, his boss, and his boss’s wife land on a Caribbean island to get a story, and encounter a scientist and zombies.

When producer Jerry Gross decided he needed a companion movie for his gory thriller I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (it sounds like it should be about vampires, and it’s actually about rabid hippies), he dredged up this Del (HORROR OF PARTY BEACH) Tenney movie and slapped its new title on it (it sounds like it should be about cannibals, and it’s about crusty zombies). This title is more exploitable, but inaccurate; no flesh-eating goes on in this movie. It’s a tad livelier than it might have been, thanks to an energetic soundtrack, but it doesn’t really cover up the fact that the dialogue is awful, the plot is hackneyed, and the acting is at a fairly low level. Those looking for some of the gore of HORROR OF PARTY BEACH will be disappointed; except for an unexpected decapitation, it’s a pretty bloodless affair.

It’s a strange movie in some ways; it seems to be somewhat influenced by the James Bond movies, as the hero surrounds himself with beautiful women and recites passages from his books (they’re supposed to be adventure stories, but the adventures never seem to leave the bedroom). In fact, the opening leads you to believe this is a comedy, but the comedy element vanishes once they reach the island.

Incidentally, the writer’s boss’s wife is played by Betty Hyatt Linton. It’s her only screen role, and once she opens her mouth, you can hear why; she has one of those voices that is guaranteed to cause migraines.

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The House of the Seven Gables (1940)

THE HOUSE OF THE SEVEN GABLES (1940)
Article #945 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-16-2003
Posting Date: 3-14-2004
Directed by Joe May
Featuring George Sanders, Vincent Price, Margaret Lindsay

Two brothers and a cousin fight over the possession of a house which lies underneath a curse.

I’ve never really considered Nathaniel Hawthorne a horror writer; he merely used certain elements common to horror stories as background to tell his allegorical tales. I’ve also never read this particular work of his, so this movie is my first exposure to the work; if it’s the least bit faithful to the novel, it might well be worth a read sometime, and it certainly seems as if it would be an easier read than ‘The Scarlet Letter’. Both George Sanders and Vincent Price give fine early performances in this one, though I’m always a little put off by the sound of the voice of the younger Price. The aforementioned curse and the gothic feel of the house are the primary horror elements, though they don’t play out as horror. This one is of definite interest to fans of marginal horror and Price afficiandos.

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The Horn Blows at Midnight (1945)

THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT (1945)
Article #944 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-15-2003
Posting Date: 3-13-2004
Directed by Raoul Walsh
Featuring Jack Benny, Alexis Smith, Dolores Moran

An angel is sent down to Earth to blow the final trumpet at midnight, but runs into resistance from a couple of fallen angels.

Jack Benny used to joke about how bad this movie was, but in truth it really isn’t all that bad; in fact, it’s quite clever and amusing at times. However, I do understand somewhat where he was coming from; Benny’s comedic talents largely relied on cerebral subtlety and character; you got to know his persona so well that he could get laughs with the slightest of his expressions because you knew what he was thinking. Unfortunately, that style of comedy is somewhat lost in the slapstick that rules in this movie, which is more reminiscent of the comedy of IT’S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD than of the type of comedy of which Jack Benny was a master. However, it has some fun ideas, and the cast has a lot of familiar faces, including Franklin Pangborn, Margaret Dumont, Mike Mazurki, and a very young Robert Blake. All in all, it’s a mixed bag and a curiosity piece, but not totally without merit.

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Hold That Ghost (1941)

HOLD THAT GHOST (1941)
Article #943 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-14-2003
Posting Date: 3-12-2004
Directed by Arthur Lubin
Featuring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Richard Carlson

Two gas station attendants are present at the death of a gangster, and become heirs to his property, where it is believed a fortune is hidden.

There really is nothing new or novel about an old dark house comedy; almost every comedian of the time made at least one of these, and Abbott and Costello would revisit horror extensively in the latter part of their movie career. Thay were, however, at the peak of their form and their popularity at the time this one was made, and it has a greater deal of freshness than some of their later forays, the gags being a little more creative and the timing somewhat sharper. There are really no ghosts to speak of, and much of what happens doesn’t make much sense, but it’s lively and quite entertaining. The gag I remember most as a kid (involving bedrooms turning into casinos) is here in fine form, and it’s entertaining to see Evelyn Ankers and a young Richard Carlson, as well as smaller roles for Shemp Howard and Mischa Auer.

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Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941)

HERE COMES MR. JORDAN (1941)
Article #942 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-13-2003
Posting Date: 3-11-2004
Directed by Alexander Hall
Featuring Robert Montgomery, Evelyn Keyes, Claude Rains

A fighter’s soul is snatched prematurely from this world by an over-zealous angel and his body is cremated before he can be returned to it. Therefore, the forces that be have to find a way to return him to the land of the living.

This movie is regarded as a classic, but for some reason whenever I watch it, I feel it falls just a hair short of the greatness that its reputation implies. This is despite many of the movies elements that I really do admire; it has a good story and a clever script, and I always love to see Claude Rains and Edward Everett Horton in action. I also quite like the spirited performance from Robert Montgomery. If I had to choose a reason for my disappointment, it would be that I think the pacing is not quite up to the pitch it really needs to be, and there are moments when I find myself wishing the story would move on along a little faster. This feeling does not arise, however, when James Gleason is on the screen; his portrayal of the perpetually confused Max Corkle is one of the great comic performances of all time, and he steals the show from the rest of the cast. It would be no surprise that he would prove the centerpiece of the semi-sequel, DOWN TO EARTH, though that movie is certainly nowhere near the quality of this one. The movie also features the familiar faces of John Emery and Evelyn Keyes.

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